I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
