I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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