Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
