Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
