Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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