im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
