I love black thongs
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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