i may or may not be watching the land before time
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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