Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
