I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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