Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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