No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
only you would photoshop your dick
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
