i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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