Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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