My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
