Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
