yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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