this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
