New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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