Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
