You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
