drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
