Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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