Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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