No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
