Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
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he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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