I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
