Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
