no, he came in my armpit
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just blew my weed a kiss
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
