Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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