Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize