they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
