The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
