i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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