I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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