Yo dont text me then not text me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
