When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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