Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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