You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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