i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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