I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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