your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
