so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
