and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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