i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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