As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
