Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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