my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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