weddingsv make me drug and hornr
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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