no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
