I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize