Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
