Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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