i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
