So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
