Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
