You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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