So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
