i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
