The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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