Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can I color on your dick again?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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